Having been effectively cooped up in the house for the last 5 weeks, I have gained a new appreciation of how difficult it must be for people who are housebound for long periods. And, having been confined to a lounge chair effectively for the first couple of those 5 weeks has made me appreciate even more the tedium that comes with trying to negotiate the cultural desert that is daytime TV.
I’m not even going to comment on free-to-air channels, clogged as they are with more advertisements than programming. I have pay TV, though I’m becoming increasingly disenchanted with it too, especially since they now no longer show the MotoGp broadcasts live and uninterrupted. You would think, though, that with a choice of some 100 channels, it wouldn’t be too hard to find something to occupy your day, wouldn’t you?
But, let’s check. There’s a myriad of home “improvement” programmes. Let’s face it, there’s only just so many ways that you can paint a room; then there’s the “Buy a house” programmes and their appalling partner, the “Sell a house” programmes. Sorry, but the only house I’m interested in is mine and I haven’t heard or seen anything yet that has told me anything I didn’t already know about either subject. The “Houses of the Rich and Obnoxious” programmes also fall into this category as do the “Ultimate holiday” programmes, as if any of us are ever going to be able to afford either of these. So, all those “Lifestyle” programmes leave me dead, and the channels are clogged with them, 24/7.
Then there’s the Movie channels. I don’t subscribe to these because I don’t really care for movies, unless it’s “On Any Sunday” or “Le Mans” so they’re out. With only a few exceptions the 20 or so channels that show old TV shows from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s don’t get looked at much, though I do enjoy looking at M*A*S*H, of course (who doesn’t?) One of the channels is re-running “The Goodies” at the moment and I enjoy that, as I do the re-runs of “ALF” (“Yo, Lucky.”)
The sports channels seem to be totally fixated on the round ball game (for goodness sake, so do the free-to-air ones, in fact) and you can occasionally get some motorsports and bike racing, but it’s often on at weird hours. The American sports channels don’t know any sport exists if it isn’t baseball, grunt ball or basketball and since I find all three of these repulsive, they don’t get a look in. Tennis is big at the moment as is golf, but I’ve always found that tennis is a game that is great to play but deadly to watch, and watching golf is torture because it only serves to highlight how poorly I play when I do get the chance to do so.
The documentary programmes suit me best (I guess you figured I was leading up to that anyway). I like the History channel, but there are only so many ways of showing how the Americans won the war. Despite this, the doco makers seem obsessed with trying to find more. Discovery channel always has something interesting, even if it’s a repeat of “Mythbusters” which I seem to be able to watch regardless of how many times I’ve seen it before. The Crime channel sometimes has some of those funny “cops in pursuit of coked-out losers” programmes, but, once you’ve seen one high-speed pursuit, you’ve seen them all (unless it’s the high-speed pursuit in “Smokey and the Bandit” but that doesn’t count)
Wildlife is pretty interesting, but it’s a bit like the above. Once you’ve seen a tiger in its native habitat and had every aspect of its life and habits minutely examined, there isn’t really much else that can, or should, be said.
Dicovery has recently introduced two more “rev-head” oriented channels and I have quite enjoyed the series that they have just finished on the history of the major motorcycle manufacturers. I learnt quite a lot. Unfortunately, they also tend to be cluttered with “chopper” programmes and my comment about the tiger above pretty much sums up my attitude to choppers as well. I’ve also enjoyed the series on the late Boyd Coddington and the cars that he built during his all-too-short career. He really was an artist and most un-American in his “less is more” attitude to customising.
“Reality” programmes? Please, don’t get me started.
So, there it is, the cultural wasteland that is Pay TV. Is it any wonder that we are seriously considering cancelling it shortly as the cost continues to rise while the ability to customise the options that you have is steadily reducing?
Good thing I have the computer, eh?
Here’s one of my favourite Boyd Coddington creation, “The Whatthehaye.”
sanoptic says
Yep know what you mean about being stuck at home watching the box,we too have pay tv & most of the time it’s a waste of money now that most channels have as many add breaks as FTA .
I like M.A.S.H too but by god they repeat the same episodes over & over as well as most other shows.
Years ago when FOX was add free for all channels it was great ,finally could get away from FTA .
How can anyone watch drama on FTA [& now foxtel ] with an add break every 5 minutes & still follow the plot.
Luckily we have a good collection of DVD’s & most of the time thats what we watch.
Foxtel…bye bye soon as well.
cheers