It’s squid season again. Here in Australia, as the weather begins to warm up, the squids start coming out of their hiding places. Riding their sports bikes (although other classes of machinery do not appear to be immune from squiddery – I was passed on the F3 a few years ago by a squid on a Harley) dressed in the minimum amount of clothing to observe public decency but with no thought whatsoever as to the consequences of their actions should an accident occur.
Standard squid apparel here is a helmet (they are required by law in every state – only the most brainless would test out this one, a t shirt or, quite commonly a “wife-beater” singlet, a pair of shorts and joggers (no socks – this appears to be mandatory in the squid manual). You will get extra points from the squid club is you wear thongs – “flip-flops” for my American readers.
The particular squid in the picture above happens to be female but the basic rules still apply. Some will make some concession to footwear, in this case a pair of platform sandals, but most stick to the established expectations. The exemption is when the female squid happens to be a passenger. In this case the dress code seems to be a shoestring strap top, tiny denim shorts and a pair of thin, strappy sandals. I should add that nowhere in the squid manual does the subject of gloves occur so most squids do not wear these either.
Lifers will be familiar with my constant bleating about ATGATT (all The Gear, All The Time) but, it appears that my remonstrations are falling on deaf ears. So, let me explain just what is wrong with this peculiar disease called squiddery.
Firstly, and most importantly, it offers ZERO protection in the event of an accident. Now these heroes of the modern era get by that very easily by asserting that they don’t crash or plan to crash. The evident flaw in the argument is that they are often the most careless and dangerous riders out there, so I’m not quite sure how this works. Even at low speed (something most squids never experience) the consequences of an unprotected body skidding along the road does not even bear thinking about. THERE IS NOTHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT GRAVEL RASH! And, when the nurse at A&E gets out the brush and starts cleaning out the multiple abrasions to try and prevent infection, the pain level goes off the scale. Tissue damage will often be extensive and will require skin grafts over extended periods of time. Permanent scarring is almost a “given” and a young and vibrant body can be reduced, in seconds, to a hideous caricature of what it once was. Skidding across blazing hot bitumen and lying there till help arrives introduces another aspect that really doesn’t bear thinking about.
In an accident the standard human reaction is to put out our hands to break our fall. Doing so on a hot road without gloves is a recipe for many months of inability to carry out even the simplest tasks (and I mean the most basic) without assistance.
I could go on, but I fear that I am preaching to the choir anyway. And don’t get me started on scooter riders. What is it about a scooter that confers invulnerability on its rider? Is not the road on which they travel the same? Are not the obstacles which they can hit in an accident the same? Are not their riders riding in one of the most hostile environment in which a rider can ride? So how come they don’t need protective gear? What degree of protection does a suit provide? Or a short skirt, blouse and jacket teamed with high heel shoes? Like I said, I scratch my head and wonder.
But the dedicated squid sees the ability to ride in minimal clothing as a badge of courage (at least that’s what I have been told), bonus points among the tribe.
Yes, it’s hot. But the fact the temperature is rising is no reason to dispense with protective gear. The only variable that has changed is the weather; all other hazards and risks remain the same.
ATGATT. Get the message out there.